In all my years as a Christadelphian, it was all head knowledge and church
(cult) tradition.
There was rarely, if ever, discussions on or the practice of compassion,
forgiveness, love, healing, nurturing, helping, caring, etc.; though there were
a few exceptions. That was considered a waste of time for the most part. Some
of them seemed to use the Bible as a weapon to combat one another within the
ecclesia and of course, those outside. I believe that comes from the “Us
against them” Persecution Complex. They think everyone’s out to get them, and
are so arrogant to think that only THEY have a monopoly on The Truth in the
whole wide world, so they go on the defensive with outsiders.
That’s how it is. I was that way myself when I was a Christadelphian. It’s so
typically cultic and I didn’t know any better. But we are instructed to be
gentle
in our dealings with people, and to give a reason for the hope that is in us.
(1Pet. 3:15). I could see many of them were full of pride and arrogance, having
no tolerance or compassion for anyone who might be struggling with personal
difficulties or confusion over certain issues.
They laughed at and ridiculed outsiders with smug self-righteousness. There was
no love or warmth, unless you were a member of a certain “class” or a family.
Most of the ecclesia meetings are fairly small, and they mainly comprise of a
few family clans and a few stragglers who didn’t fall into any of these
categories. The majority of Christadelphians are born into it and a few are
recruited or come into it through a member. Some marry into Christadelphianism.
Almost every ecclesia that I know of has very strict rules concerning marriage.
No one should marry anyone unless he or she is a Christadelphian, and it
doesn’t matter how bad or good the person is. I experienced this in my own
life. In fact, my in-laws hated me simply because I was from an ecclesia they
had a falling out with decades earlier! They refused to come to the wedding for
that reason. The rule is, you must marry someone within your own cultic system
no matter what; and anyone else is considered an outsider, an unbeliever, an
alien to be treated with cynicism and suspicion.
Depending on the individual ecclesia, it may take YEARS before a person is
accepted by the group, and they are never really accepted until the person
relents or is indoctrinated and is baptised into the cult. So it makes for a
very awkward and difficult situation at times. It is understandable that we
should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, but I believe Christadelphians
take it to an extreme and make it a very rigid cultic practice. There is even
strife and division in some ecclesias over this, and it’s becoming more of a
problem.
What led to the decision to change was a long-time dissatisfaction of the group
as a whole, and I knew there was something wrong so I had to find out what it
was. I set out to do some investigating into doctrinal issues as well as look
into the background of the founder. The Christadelphians couldn’t give me any
satisfactory answers to the doctrinal questions I had (I know now it’s because
they REALLY DON’T KNOW); and if I dared to ask the wrong questions, I would be
pegged and marked as an “apostate” or worse. The unwritten rule was “you don’t
question the way we do things or the doctrines we believe”; if you do then you
will be scorned, ridiculed or put on the defensive. I was fed up listening to
and witnessing all the garbage about the division that exists between
fellowships as well as the constant gossiping, backstabbing and legalism within
the individual ecclesia. I was also tired of the Pharisaical, contemptuous
attitudes by some of the members who had dominant, egotistical personalities.
It upset me and I felt like a victim (and I probably was), I figured there had
to be a better faith than this, so I decided to distance myself from the whole
thing and find out what I could on my own.
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